Define "Fat" ?

You know whats the most annoying thing for me to hear... hearing skinny Asian girls calling themselves fat.

I know I am saying this because deep inside I am envious of their Asian girl frames and I do think of myself as being fat. So I am a hypocrite for even criticizing them for this, but it still bothers me. Its not so much that they may be fishing for compliments or truly feel like they are fat, but the mere fact that if they call themselves fat, I must be huge!!

And of course they would never say I am fat or huge, but I think its because they generally don't think I should be compared to Asians. Typically Asian girls will say "but you are tall," and such, which I usually take it as " since you aren't full Asian, we can't expect you to look like me," which is true because I am never going be 108 pounds at 5' 2''.

However, I hangout with a bunch of 5' 2'' 108 pound girls, which makes me feel quite big around them sometimes. Its not their fault at all that I feel like that sometimes - I think its just due to human nature to want to fit in with their community. And especially in the Asian single community, everybody "type" of guy and girl tends to fall around that range. So when guys talk about their "type," it generally means the 5'2- 5'6 range but always 108pounds.. And girls "type" is .. well.. anyone bigger than them, which isn't as discriminative against genetics. But I do share sympathy with the guys who barelly passed the kid's size requirement for rollercoasters.

So here I am, hanging out with a bunch of Asians and still single. Me think there is a strong reason for this. And its not even about my frame size, but generally I don't think I am Asian enough for a lot of Asian guys. I had a similar conversation with several other half-Asian girls, and we all seem to have similiar problems within the Asian community for whatever reason. ( those super hot half mix girls don't count because I am speaking about normal looking people and not the people who won the genetic lotto ticket)

My sister got lucky with marrying a Hmong, but I think it was because she was the only Asian girl in a 30minute vicinity in Germany, so without other options, my brother law actually got over his "type" preference and went to the closest Asian. (of course this is my theory, but I question if this would happen if they met in California)

So my conclusion is to stop hanging out with Asians and faced the reality that I am stuck with a white person. And not to say that would be a bad thing at all, but I don't know any white guys, or atlead not white guys that have some kind of decent education and doesn't expect me to love his 4x4 Truck as much has he does. My other option is to move to a country where I am the only Asian girl, and hope for a lonely Asian boy like my sister.

One is the loneliness number

Lately, I have been trying to adjust to Texas, and being away from family. I have been in this state for a year and half, and still, I don't dare to say or even want to say that I am a Texans. The mere idea of giving up my Michigan Linceses Plate and Michigan Driver Lincese Card is unimaginable. And the biggests reason is the fear that once I settle in Texas, I am doomed to stay here for the rest of my life. The only reason I am here is the mere fact my company made it so.

But why do I struggle with this? Well, I think if I moved to DC or Chicago, I would easily give up my Michigan Lincese Plate because I feel like that there would be more opportunities to find new jobs, meet new people, and even start a family... wait.. scratch that start a family bit, that can't happen until I find a spouse. And I don't think thats going happen because that particular area is a significant challenge for me ( urgg... I don't even want to it because its not anyone elses fault but mine .)

And so, this goes back to my feeling of loniness of not having family here at all. I have friends, but there is only so much friends can do in this area of intimacy. And there is not enough distractions in this entire area to stop this creeping feeling of the lack of family.

However, I have to be grateful that I have a job in an area that seems to weather the economic downturn a lot better than the rest of america. And I need to think of this as a pit stop to bigger better things. SO.. it goes back to thinking about Grad School, and trying, ever slowly, studing for the GRE and figure out how to pay for Grad school. Cause I think of myself as a fake IT person, and if I was to hire an IT business analysis, I don't think I would hire myself.

What do I like?

Lately, I have been really trying hard to find out what are things I like to do for the sake of doing them.. and I came up with nothing.

Is this what my college education, driven for success and always putting myself down as comes too?

All I can do is look up to God and say " GOD.. I just don't care!".........

My Favorite Musical Artist Right Now.

Lately, I have been raving about an Somalian American Hip Hop artist named K'Naan. He is a rapper/singer who immigrated to the US from Somalia, but in my opining is a musical genius. His lyrics are amazing poetry of very powerful human experiences that speaks about life and about a social cause. And his lyrics are creative and flows soo smoothly.. that everytime I listen to it, the music hits me again.

I really want him to make it really big in the US and Europe, so people can really listen to his music and force a change in the music industry. And demand more real music that address whats really happening in the world. I would like people to listen to his music and not see Africa, or any other war torned country, as something alien from our own reality.

So I really recommend just listening.

Grad School.

Should I or should I not? and when?

URg.. I have been thinking a lot about going to Grad school to get a MS in IT management because I know I lack some important skills at work. Since I come from a non-engineering background, everyday I do doubt what I am doing. My other concerns are related to what would happen to my career.

And I am afraid I'll hit a point where I can't move anywhere because I lack the skills and thus, I am doomed in only a few roles. My greatest fear is what would I do if I get layed off, would I find another job? Will I be automatically not considered because I don't have the right education on my resume? Even worse, I can't find a job that doesn't require the super duber techical experience.

So I really want to go back to Graduate School. Yet, there are all these other concerns on how am I going find the time and energy to study for the GRE. Or how am I going be able to pay for school ? Or even worse, how am I going pay for my living expenses. The money issue is such a big deal with me that when I look at graduate programs, I first look at is their tuition page. I hate the fact that so many of the programs are soo expensive. Even the really low programs are at least 20,000$, and these schools are a tier lower than MSU.. so whats the point?

I see the numbers, and I'm sent into this depressive state. The fact is, I can't expect to get the same financial aid for grad school as I did when I was in undergrad. I find it hard to save a lot of money in a short period of time too. And all of this won't happen until I get steller GRE scores and hopes for a TA job. I wish God can just change the situation where I can take some of this off my plate.

I really do need Jesus guidance on this issue. I don't even know if this is the right course for my life, or should I be looking for something else.

Summary of this morning call.

Instead of sleeping this morning, I woke up at 6:30am CST with a
stomach ache and head to the office to have this important call.

A summary of a two hour call this morning in three pictures.


I have discovered that Dilbert represents my work life.

Shelly's Wants to Buy a House.

My husband and I want to become homeowners. 

We have been researching "home ownership" and the Omaha area. After searching around, I think I fell in love with the Papillion, Nebraska area. It's a suburban town outside of the city of Omaha and was rank #3 for "Best Places to Live" by Money Magazine. You can read the article here.

All week my husband and I have been dream shopping online for houses. I'm sure by the time we move to Nebraska, most of these houses will be off the market. However, shopping online is giving us a pretty good idea about the local housing market and the kind of houses we can afford. The majority of the houses we like are in the $150,000-$250,000 range. We decided to look for houses in Papillion and La Vista. La Vista is another area we really liked but would be farther away from where we work and Omaha. 

Also, dream shopping online has really help Khoo and I; we are finding out the kind of houses we like and the kind of features we want. Khoo likes houses that are less than thirty years old and have large spaces. I like houses with hardwood floors, open kitchens and nice backyards. We both want a three-bedroom home with modern necessities and a garage. 

After going through hundreds of housing postings that meet these features.. both Khoo and I agreed on a favorite. 

It might not look like much from the outside but once your inside. 

Just wow.. Hardwood floors and a high ceiling? Yes! 

One of the most beautiful kitchens I've seen for a house in our price range. Simple layout and very functional design. 

The backyard has a small patio and plenty of space. If Khoo and I bought a house like this, the only work we really need to do is put a backyard fence for our dogs. The bedrooms look like most regular bedrooms. White walls, blah carpets.. but that is fine. When I look at this house I see a white canvas waiting for me to paint and decorate it. 

We found other houses we liked but by far this is the one I like the best. I like simple houses that are not overcomplicated or need a lot of work. I can't wait until we move and we can become serious about looking for a new home. 

What do you guys think? Do you see the potential? 

Shelly's thoughts about her friends having babies.

All I hear about is babies, babies and babies. 

Many of my coworkers and friends are having children. It is quiet common to see monthly e-mails about all the new births and invitations to baby showers. Everywhere I go, I get bombarded with baby talk on a daily basis. It also doesn't help that I'm a newlywed. When I was single, no one at work even mention children. After I got married.. that all change and now I get asked quiet often, "When are you going to have kids?". It's getting to the point where I think my coworkers expect me to get pregnant. 

An example of this would be when I was talking about "babies" with my coworker Petri. His wife is four months pregnant and we were talking about her pregnancy. Well, another coworker was ease dropping into our conversation. He instantly jumps into our conversation and ask, "Shelly, are you pregnant?" I was quiet shocked. I never expected someone I barely know to ask me that kind of question.

This made me realize that saying the b-word around my coworkers is unwise. They would assume it's about me and not about other people. I have my new social status of "newlywed" to thanks for that. Being newlywed must mean you are trying to conceive. 

Khoo and I have no immediate plans for children. To assure this; I use my birth control religiously, we don't take risks and I pray to god. So far--So good. Even though we are not trying, I have been thinking about other baby-related items. 

A few weeks ago, I went shopping for baby clothes. Not for me but for my cousins. I currently have two cousins who are about six-seven months pregnant. I couldn't make it to their baby shower but I decided to buy them something anyways. 

Cute. Yes? That's the one thing I love about baby showers. It is all the adorable gifts. Baby clothes are so cute. Seriously, if I could get away with wearing ducky shoes all day.. I would. When I was searching baby clothes online, I came across this.. 

Can you imagine a cute little kid in these clothes? Just-Wow. 

Speaking of baby showers... .

My coworker Petri is best friends with my husband Khoo. Khoo will probably host a "diaper party" for him. They are quiet popular in my workplace. It's basically the guys version of a baby shower. Except the guests only bring diapers and a lot of alcohol. (Drunk Fest) 

I'm just hope I don't have to clean up any puke. 

My Job.

Description of my daily work life as a IT Requirements Manager.

1. Join and conduct the endless amounts of Conference calls to define what Business Owners wants. Since they are never in the office.


2. Ask the Engineers the right questions what they can do or what their job is. Especially, since it takes me 10 minutes before I figure out what they are talking about.


3. Find A conseus among business owners on business requirements - which is made very difficult during the summer when everybody goes on holiday and there is a still a deadline of next week Monday.


4. And then join the celebrations of finishing a project after doing all the post-BRD support and testing. Ands still fearing that there isn't going be that next project.


Sadly, Dilbert seem to be the only person who understands me ....

I'm Mid-20s, and my friends are having Babies.

Yesterday, I went to my second baby shower this year. And at all baby showers, girls talk about life. Single women talk about dating ( especially the lack of dating) and getting married, and married women talk about having babies or taking care of babies. At this particular baby shower, none were married and most were not in any kind of dating relationship. So, we could all sympathize with each others.. hahaha..

Its weird to slowly see my acquaintances and friends getting married and having babies, and I ..... am in Dallas, TX. NOT TO SAY that I don't enjoy being single, but its just weird to see them in different phases of their lives; when only a few years ago, these same people were in the same life phase of being single and studying.

Sometimes I am a bit envious because they are going through all these new kinds of experiences, but other times, I am grateful that I can avoid all the troubles associated with those experiences. Ultimately, I have to continually remind myself that God knows what was going to happen to me, and trust God is ultimately working ALL things for good- beyond my short- sightness on things. Cause who am I to question his judgement?

And I am actually enjoying watching others go through these transitions. Because it definitely true being a Wedding Guess is a heck a lot more fun than being in the Bridal Party ( even though I was MIA in planning my own sister's wedding. I get tired just hearing about other girls experiences in planning a wedding )

Anyways, the baby shower was cute. It had its baby cake, the typical party games of measuring the mommy's stomach, and the other what-nots..

However, the cutest thing at the party was this Diaper cake.

This is a picture of the diaper cake from the baby shower. When I first saw it from the distance, I was thinking, " Wow.. that's a lot of money to spend on a cake for a baby shower?" I came up to the cake and thought how mad cute it was to roll up all those diapers and staking them up with ribbons and flowers. Good job!!!!!


AND ALSO:
SHELLY RUINED MY DREAMS OF MOVING TO CALIFORNIA FOR SCHOOL... NOW WHY WOULD I GO TO OMAHA, NEBRASKA ??? THAT WOULD BE LIKE A STEP DOWN FROM DALLAS.. URGGGGG

Shelly's Moving

I'm moving in six months to Omaha, Nebraska. I'm finally leaving Germany after living in this country for two years. Some of my coworkers told me "Wow, I'm sorry.. that really sucks.", but I don't think so. I miss the United States and glad I'm moving back. 

Top 10 things I miss about America. 

1. Low prices. (Euros sucks and I get paid in dollars.)

2. Customer service. *** (Biggest shock value about German culture- Zero customer service.)

3. Good quality high speed internet. 

4. 24 hour restaurants and businesses. 

5. Not paying money to use a public restroom.  (Your doom if you need to go and don't have 50 cent euro.) 

6. Cable television in English. 

7. Lights on roads. (Roads are really dark.) 

8. Customs for mail. (In Germany, they have high custom fees.)

9. Paying bills with checks. (In Germany, you pay bills directly from your bank.) 

10. Ketchup & Mustard (Germany ketchup and mustard are horrible.) 

I really enjoyed my time in Germany. I was lucky to be able to live overseas. I got to visit so many european countries and experience a wonderful new culture. Also, living overseas made me appreciate my own country. I realize I took for granted the conveniences I had in America. 

I'm sure when I move back to the United States, I'll miss Germany. I know for sure I'll miss this country's bread and Christmas markets. Nothing is better than drinking some Gluhwein on a cold chilly day. 

Until I move, I'll try and appreciate where I am. I want to be able to take as much of "Germany" as I can. So when I wake up from this dream I can still remember what had happen and talk about it. Please stay tuned and I'll show you around before I move to Omaha. 

What is Kigurumin?

Well, after Connie posted that awesome dance video.. I thought I would better explain "kigurumin". Kigurumin are people who decide to dress in animal pajamas. It was a very popular Japanese Street style in the late 90's in the harajuku district of Japan. It was mostly part of the subculture of Ganguro. Ganguro is an alternative fashion where young Japanese women get tans and dye their hair blonde. 

"Researchers in the field of Japanese studies believe that ganguro is a form of revenge against traditional Japanese society due to resentment of neglect, isolation, and constraint of Japanese society. This is their attempt at individuality, self-expression, and freedom, in open defiance of school standards and regulations." (Liu, Xuexin) 

Here is an intro video about the fashion. 

I have always love Japanese Street fashion and other alternative fashion. Alternative fashion is creative and expressive. You can go wild with your imagination and you don't feel like everyone else. However, when I wore alternative fashion in public--it was more than just liking the clothes. I think like most people who wear alternative fashion it was about something more; the mutual feeling of loneliness, being an outcast and rebellion against society norms.

As a teenager and young adult, I felt I had little control over my life. Wearing alternative clothes was one of the ways I cope and made myself more in control. Instead of feeling like an outcast for being Korean American, Half-Breed, Loner... I put those feeling into my clothes. A lot of people thought I was weird but people who like me--were similar to me. We shared the same mutual feeling of not belonging. In my social group, alternative fashion gave me a feeling of belonging. 

Alternative fashion help me find a group of people that struggled with not fitting into mainstream America. In our misfit outcast group, we became a family.  A family that experience many similar memories of being teased and feeling different. Instead of "feeling hurt", we expressed our raged through our clothes. If society rejected us, we wanted to show everyone. We found others like us and form a anti-mainstream social group. Alternative fashion made it easier for me to cope with the feelings of being alone and disliked. It gave me a feeling of peace about my place in the world and made me realized that it's okay if I'm not normal.  

I think this video can show you some of my feelings... 

Did you went through a period of time where you felt like you didn't belong? How were you able to cope with those feelings? 

Connie's Dance

So my pajama's are in, and to honor shelly's dance I made the effort. Here's the video.

Vicki's thoughts on love

Shelly is right. Love is a lot different than Lust, and the media/advertisment tries to sell love, when in fact, they are selling them Lust. And people are either stupid enough to believe it, or they don't think real love exists because they have been so hurt by confusing love with lust.

Love takes endurance, takes a conscious commitment, takes real self-reflection, time and energy.

The kind of work it takes to create love and maintain it doesn't sell well in a instant gratification culture - Because you aren't going see this kind of picture selling the newest perfume, clothing line or in a Movie Trailer.

Shelly's Thoughts On Love

What is love? I think over the years I've learned the difference between true love and lust. Love is more subtle and leaves an everlasting impact. It is quiet, peaceful and fills the soul. Lust on the other hand is quick and powerful. It's sexy and can be easily be mistaken for love.  

It also doesn't help that the media portrays love as lust. The media doesn't portray love because "love" doesn't sell. Love is boring while lust is full of drama and excitement. After lust is over the cameras stop rolling. The story isn't interesting anymore.  Am I the only one that finds this wrong? 

What do you think love is? What is the difference between love and lust? 

I'll leave you with this quote...  

"It is clear that we must embrace struggle. Every living thing

conforms to it. Everything in nature grows and struggles in its

own way, establishing its own identity, insisting on it at all cost,

against all resistance. We can be sure of very little, but the

need to court struggle is a surety that will not leave us. It is

good to be lonely, for being alone is not easy. The fact that

something is difficult must be one more reason to do it. To love

is also good, for love is difficult. For one human being to love

another is perhaps the most difficult task of all, the epitome, the

ultimate test. It is that striving for which all other striving

is merely preparation. For that reason young people -- who are

beginners in everything -- cannot yet love; they do not know how to

love. They must learn it."

Rainer Maria Rilke (1875 - 1926)

Source: Letters to a Young Poet, Page: 62..63

Symbol of Unhealed Congo: Male Rape Victims

Its terrible when women are raped. As a woman, I become outraged and angry when I know that other women are being rapped. It is particularly painful when there is a systematic system of raping women for political and economic gain. And this is a well known practice in Africa, especially in Congo, to instill fear into a village as a method of gaining political and economic power in an area

The emotional, physiological and physical damage caused by rape can be horrendous. For a woman who goes through this, they need all the support she can get to move on with her life.



Sadly, societies don't expect men to be rapped, nor feel they need the same kind of empathy and support . Instead, men live in isolatioms that must be unbearable. Since I am not a man, I don't think I can really understand, but I think the amount of shame a man must be experiencing is unbearable.

When I read that the number of men being ganged rapped in the Congo, I felt both deeply sympathetic and confused by my own feelings . Its hideous, terrible, awful and all of that, but I guess, I still couldn't be as empathic on how they must be feeling becaue I am not a man.

However, I still feel like their story must be known, and I want them to know that they still matter and nothing was or is taken away from them. Please read this article and show support for them in anyway you can..

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/05/world/africa/05congo.html?_r=1


And for these men, I can't change the political/social conditions because it requires a change of men's heart to stop this, and to heal those who have been hurt. So, I can only offer the hope that God can transform the heart because he knows what evil men do, and offers salvation through his promise from zion ( which was Jesus)


Psalm 53 (New International Version)

1 The fool says in his heart,
"There is no God."
They are corrupt, and their ways are vile;
here is no one who does good.

2 God looks down from heaven
on the sons of men
to see if there are any who understand,
any who seek God.

3 Everyone has turned away,
they have together become corrupt;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.

4 Will the evildoers never learn—
those who devour my people as men eat bread
and who do not call on God?

5 There they were, overwhelmed with dread,
where there was nothing to dread.
God scattered the bones of those who attacked you;
you put them to shame, for God despised them.

6 Oh, that salvation for Israel would come out of Zion!
When God restores the fortunes of his people,
l et Jacob rejoice and Israel be glad!

Shelly's Recaps Part One: Dating

Khoo and I got married twice. Once in court on November 21st, 2008 and another in front of all our family and friends on June 26th, 2009. Once a week on Thursday, I'll do a recap on our wedding and relationship. These posts will show all the little details and what made the event oh-so-special. 

Part One: Dating 

Khoo and I met at work. We bonded over our work labor and after four months of sharing our souls, we admitted to each other that we liked each other. Even though we liked each other, we decided not to date each other. Both of us wanted to keep a professional work relationship and did not want to jeopardize our careers. 

Khoo wrote this message in myspace during that time: 

"Risks.

Why is it that we're f***ed no matter what road we take?

To take the risk, to plunge into the unknown...

Risk are risk because we can either f*** ourselves over or come out lucky with the greatest of outcomes...

Then again if we don't take the risk, we won't ever feel the backlashes of our failures... but we won't ever feel the warmth of success... which usually leads to what if's running rampant through our minds and unforgettable regrets.

When we choose to take that risk and it goes sour... does that regret last as long as if you never took it?

To live in safety... or to say 'atleast I gave it my all'...

What path would you choose?

I'm so confused..."

After two months of liking each other but "staying friends", one night changed all that and our future relationship. 

It all started when I was watching a movie in Khoo's room. I was in a chair and he was on the floor. He than looked at me and asked me, "Can I kiss you?".  I was shocked. For the past two months I've been dreaming of this moment. However, I never really thought it would of come true. I felt my face flushed. I than felt myself unable to speak. I can't say anything but I nod my head "yes". He than stood up and leaned into my face. He kissed me. 

After that night we started an unprofessional relationship. 

Is this how it sounds when nerds cry?

It a question I've pondered about, and my 3pm call was cancelled on me.
For those who don't speak nerdish (dorks who speak the same), here is a nice hex translator http://home2.paulschou.net/tools/xlate/

Little Satan's Acceptance Speech.

Ahmadinejad accepted his 2nd Term as Presiden of Iran, and this is basically what he said:




.. enough said...

Shelly's Belated Xmas Gift

I finally got my christmas gift. Why is it belated for seven months? Well, Khoo and I are "big toys" people. Anything we want tend to be high price items like electronics. We decided to get Khoo's gift during christmas (A big screen TV) and hold off on my gift until after our wedding and we could afford it.  

Yes, my gift is a new computer. My request for a computer was "the ability to play Aion, at least 1 terabyte and PINK!". Well, I got all three. Khoo bought all the parts and built it.   

The best part of the computer? The mouse and keyboard. We bought the mouse and keyboard from a Best Buy gift card. (A gift card we received during our wedding.) 

As of right now, I only have Sims 3 on it. However, I do plan on installing Aion later and maybe a few other games. So what do you guys think? Pretty cool?

Death to VPN: Why working in an empty office sucks.

I happen to work in the office that allows their employees to work from home with VPN. For those who don't know, it allows employees to read their emails, chat on their company messaging system and access their company servers from their home. Now, some praise this kind of work environment as being considerate of their employees needs and increasing efficiency and bla.. bla.. bla..

Well, I on the other hand, end up like this...



And this is very much a growing trend in Western companies. Its a ponsey scheme to save money and make their employees think they actually care. The company doesn't want to pay for the extra footage, and instead, make you stay at home to slowly chip away the things they use to pay for. It starts by not providing the morning coffee and donuts, then expecting you to pay for own cellphone service, and ultimately you are paying for everything, including the VPN token. Believe me, I've seen the future and it means no corporate credit card for you!

But then why am I subjected to this torture of corporate isolatism?????

1. Cause I work for people who's main drive is to make the client think you are working hard. Not to say that I am not working hard, but honestly, would you want to work in the above picture? And so working hard means being at the client space all the time - even when no one is there.

2. I work for an Asian company. I simply can't conceive Asian companies ever thinking working a 9-5 job from home is a good thing. Asians are all about making sure other see how much you are working (going back to point 1), and doing every little thing as a group - across the board for Asians.


And I'll add another Asian sterotypical explanation when it comes to Korea and Japan. In Korea, ogashies (married men) would actually have to stay home with their wives, and lack the justification to go out drinking with their boss and other surly activities. Whats even worse, the bored every day Korean cougars could never find time to spend their husband's money.

So while my offshore team is working in an environment like this




I got nothing going on. Honestly, wouldn't mind going back to India, and working for rupees, even if my boss looked like this

Former President Clinton Superhero Comic Strip :Episode - Clinton vs. Kim Jong il

Synopsis: The super hero of the 90s has once again returned to fight again agaisnt the evil lord, Kim Jong Il. And brushing off his suit, he leaves with his wife behind in the White House once again.


He travelled far to confront his old enemy (via through translators and such) for the release of the two American reporters. We do not know what magic he used, or really, luxury goods that may have been used in the exchange.


But Success!!! and the two Asian American Reporters where released from their 12 years of work camp.. to return home to their families and we will hear Lisa Ling happiness on TV once again. And has they returned home, they turned back to see the aged superhero fly off into the distance to return to his luxury home in NY - because he just not black enough for the White HOuse anymore.

.

Shelly's Pikachu Kigurumi

Dear Readers, 

Connie and I are not furries. We do not believe we are animals. We do not have any "animal spirits" in us. We are 100% human. If anything, we are only victims of loving cute adorable pajamas from Japan.

I love my pajamas so much, I even made a youtube video dancing in them. 

 

Yes, my pajamas is Pikachu. Pikachu is a "Pokeman". I embrace my geekiness on my sleeve. So what? Stop hiding your pokemon toys underneath your bed... and telling your friends "I was twelve and didn't know any better..",  instead you should dust off your toys and put them on display. Don't hide your inner child. Embrace your past and don't be afraid of being yourself. 

Living your life as yourself is better than pretending to be like everyone else. 

In Honor of My Sister's Post: Furries on Parade

p.s Just as long you are protected.

Vicki's Rant on Ranting.

Lately, I have been ranting a lot on abstract concepts . Ranting about the christianity, ranting about racism, ranting about sexism and all the in-betweens. And I think the biggest part of my ranting is my feelings of frustration that others just don't care.

I think compared to my other sisters, I have the biggest problem with being a mixed child. I seem to care the most about the topic of being a Hapa-Korean, while my other sisters live in some kind of complete peace and tranquility about the topic. However, I don't know why I feel so bothered by this .

I think the biggest reason is that I spend a significantly more time with Korean Americans than my other sisters. I go to a Korean American church, which is the epicenter of Korean American Civic life of every Korean American community. So, I feel like I run against these walls of discreet racism and sexism, which many, but not all, seem to be insignificant or simply not real according to others. Especially, when it happens within a church, I get a little bit concerned of the hypocrisy of it. And honestly, that's what drives me crazy, when I am told that its not that big of a deal.

I don't want to justify what I see as racism or sexism because its almost saying what I see and feel is not credible enough. I can explain it, but yet again, how do I explain something to a person who lacks the experience to understand.

It would be like a black man trying to explain to a white man how it is to grow up being a black man. How much can a white man really understand just how is it?

For example, when a I hear Korean American Girls and Guys say they would prefer to marry a Korean, it almost feel like they are saying that having a half-breed child is less than a preferred choice. Its saying, not so blatantly, that someone like me is a undesirable outcome.

Or when I see Korean American girls who always.. always.. talk about loosing weight. Is that because being an American sized girl is unfeminine, and thus, undesirable? Do Korean American girls have to accept this form of sexism that says that there is "preferred" body ?

And when you put racism and sexism together, there are some real double standards. Where Half Koreans are praised as hotties in Korean media, and then I am in bar in Seoul with another half Korean girl who is sobbing over her third beer on how unattractive she is in Korea and to Korean Americans (and this is a real story)

And at the end, no one cares to even think this is a real issue - I guess racism and sexism should only be in the black and white dialogue.

Or maybe, I need to spend less time with Korean Americans like my sisters, because why am I subjecting myself to these race and gender identity issues?

Shelly's Turtles

My husband Khoo and I own two turtles. They are red-eared sliders. They are almost a year old now. After the first year, they are most likely to live past 35 years old. They will outlive most of our other pets. As of right now, they live in our 45 gallon tank. However, we plan to transfer them to an outdoor pond or larger habitat when they get larger. 

Over the past year, both Khoo and I have grown quiet attached to them. I feel so attached now that I want to give them both names. What would be some good turtle names? I was thinking Artemis and Apollo. What do you think? 

Connie's Introduction

Well hello everyone.

I'm Connie the youngest. I'm currently 19, turning 20 on sept. 6th. I work and live in Lansing, Mi. I've been working and attending some community college for two years now. Being a local in one of the most economically depressed states can have its up's and down's. Besides the depressing note of this, I am also around many interesting people and events, and am very determined to make best of what I have. I've been living the minimum wage life, without much direction. I am engaged, and have two pet ferrets. I love art and all those lovely things, yet I usually prefer more to listen and watch then to partake myself. I dream to someday to do something I'm proud of. I haven't found this yet, but as you will (hopefully) see I will find it someday.

Today I've been very sick. I about wreched my own stomach out of my mouth this morning.

:(- Connie

Vicki's Introduction

Hi,

I don't know what to expect out of doing this blog. I am the oldest sister, not married, no kids, and working in a corporate American in Dallas, TX. So, I really don't have much to say because there isn't much outside of my work and church life, unless you want to hear about IT and Website Usability. I wish I could say that I live an exciting life, but for the last year there hasn't been much going on that would interest most people.

I went on some trips, but that's about it. Wish I could give some enthralling stories on love, or fighting against the power or changing the world in some dramatic way - but sorry, its a can't do for now. However, I hope that things will change where love, excitement, change and all the good stuff will happen. Yet, its all in God's time, which is starting to annoy me but its always better than my time.

Shelly's Introduction

Hello and welcome to Our Kindred Joy. Our Kindred Joy is a journal documenting the lives and dreams of three very different sisters. Share our laughs, tears and joys. As you witness all our precious moments. Come and join the wild ride of our lives.

I am Shelly. The middle child of our family. I am twenty-two years old. 

I live in Germany and I am a newlywed. I will be posting about my adventures as a new wife. Including recaps on my wedding and venting about "daily" life. 

I like geeky hobbies, trying to cook and drawing.